Shoehorn in your SpleenMy great-grandfather used to tell me, "Don't chase after derivatives because you'll only end up with a shoehorn in your spleen." I never quite understood his advice until one April Fool's Day, I was gardening with my best friend Kantiana. All of a sudden, we found an underground tunnel! It was transcendental and spooky sounds came from deep within. Kantiana saw something interesting inside, jumped in, and I never saw her again. Great-granddaddy was right!